Search

Why do I need to get up during the night to wee? Is this normal?

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/christian-moro-121754">Christian Moro</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/bond-university-863">Bond University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/charlotte-phelps-1187658">Charlotte Phelps</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/bond-university-863">Bond University</a> It can be normal to wake up once or even twice during the night to wee, especially as we get older. One in three adults over 30 makes <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30085529">at least two</a> trips to the bathroom every night. Waking up from sleep to urinate on a regular basis is called <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK518987/">nocturia</a>. It’s one of the most commonly reported <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32249998/">bothersome urinary symptoms</a> (others include urgency and poor stream). So what causes nocturia, and how can it affect wellbeing? <h2>A range of causes</h2> Nocturia can be caused by a variety of <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/sites/default/files/nocturia-going-to-the-toilet-at-night_0.pdf">medical conditions</a>, such as heart or kidney problems, poorly controlled diabetes, bladder infections, an <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-023-44916-8">overactive bladder</a>, or gastrointestinal issues. Other causes include pregnancy, <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/nau.24839">medications</a> and consumption of alcohol or caffeine before bed. While nocturia causes disrupted sleep, the reverse is true as well. Having broken sleep, or <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4055528/">insomnia</a>, can also cause nocturia. When we sleep, an antidiuretic hormone is released that slows down the rate at which our <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-urine-sterile-do-urine-therapies-work-experts-debunk-common-pee-myths-191862">kidneys produce urine</a>. If we lie awake at night, less of this hormone <a href="https://journals.physiology.org/doi/full/10.1152/ajprenal.00025.2023">is released</a>, meaning we continue to produce normal rates of urine. This can accelerate the rate at which we fill our bladder and need to get up during the night. Stress, <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4153377/">anxiety</a> and watching television <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK518987">late into the night</a> are common causes of insomnia. <h2>Effects of nocturia on daily functioning</h2> The recommended amount of sleep for adults is between <a href="https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/sleep/how-much-sleep">seven and nine hours</a> per night. The more times you have to get up in the night to go to the bathroom, the more this impacts <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3602727/#:%7E:text=Nocturia%20is%2C%20however%2C%20an%20important,(QoL)%20and%20general%20health.">sleep quantity and quality</a>. Decreased sleep can result in increased <a href="https://hqlo.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12955-019-1251-5">tiredness</a> during the day, poor concentration, forgetfulness, changes in mood and impaired <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28425062/">work performance</a>. If you’re missing out on quality sleep due to nighttime trips to the bathroom, this can affect your quality of life. In more severe cases, nocturia has been compared to having a similar impact on <a href="https://www.racgp.org.au/getattachment/b43c05ba-e29e-47c3-b816-ec47ceeafe97/Nocturia-a-guide-to-assessment-and-management.aspx">quality of life</a> as diabetes, high blood pressure, chest pain, and some forms of arthritis. Also, frequent disruptions to quality and quantity of sleep can have longer-term health impacts. Nocturia not only upsets sleep, but also increases the risk of <a href="https://www.auajournals.org/doi/10.1097/JU.0000000000000459">falls</a> from moving around in the dark to go to the bathroom. Further, it can affect sleep partners or others in the household who may be disturbed when you get out of bed. <h2>Can you have a ‘small bladder’?</h2> It’s a common misconception that your trips to the bathroom are correlated with the size of your bladder. It’s also unlikely your bladder is <a href="https://youtu.be/blVmyrBPves">smaller</a> relative to your other organs. If you find you are having to wee more than your friends, this could be due to body size. A smaller person drinking the same amount of fluids as someone larger will simply need to go the bathroom more often. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/blVmyrBPves?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption>Can you have a small bladder?</figcaption></figure> If you find you are going to the bathroom quite a lot during the day and evening (<a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5903463/">more than eight times</a> in 24 hours), this could be a symptom of an overactive bladder. This often presents as frequent and sudden urges to urinate. If you are concerned about any lower urinary tract symptoms, it’s worth having a chat with your family GP. There are some medications that can assist in the management of nocturia, and your doctor will also be able to help identify any underlying causes of needing to go to the toilet during the night. <h2>A happy and healthy bladder</h2> Here are some tips to maintain a happy and <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3206217/">healthy</a> bladder, and reduce the risk you’ll be up at night: <ul> <li> make your <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-position-should-i-sleep-in-and-is-there-a-right-way-to-sleep-189873">sleep environment comfortable</a>, with a suitable mattress and sheets to suit the temperature </li> <li> get to bed early, and limit <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK518987/">screens</a>, or activites before bed </li> <li> limit foods and drinks that irritate the bladder, such as <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9811496/">coffee or alcohol</a>, especially before bedtime </li> <li> sit in a <a href="https://theconversation.com/does-it-matter-if-you-sit-or-stand-to-pee-and-what-about-peeing-in-the-shower-206869">relaxed position</a> when urinating, and allow time for the bladder to completely empty </li> <li> practice <a href="https://www.continence.org.au/about-continence/continence-health/pelvic-floor">pelvic floor muscle exercises</a> </li> <li> drink an adequate amount of fluids during the day, and avoid becoming <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/sites/default/files/nocturia-going-to-the-toilet-at-night_0.pdf">dehydrated</a> </li> <li> maintain a healthy lifestyle, eat <a href="https://journals.physiology.org/doi/full/10.1152/advan.00052.2023">nutritious foods</a> and do not do anything harmful to the body such as smoking or using illicit drugs </li> <li> review your medications, as the time you take some <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/sites/default/files/nocturia-going-to-the-toilet-at-night_0.pdf">pharmaceuticals</a> may affect urine production or sleep </li> <li> if you have <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28675633/">swollen legs</a>, raise them a few hours before bedtime to let the <a href="https://www.racgp.org.au/afp/2012/june/nocturia-a-guide-to-assessment-and-management">fluid drain</a>.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/224160/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> </li> </ul> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/christian-moro-121754">Christian Moro</a>, Associate Professor of Science & Medicine, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/bond-university-863">Bond University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/charlotte-phelps-1187658">Charlotte Phelps</a>, Senior Teaching Fellow, Medical Program, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/bond-university-863">Bond University</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-do-i-need-to-get-up-during-the-night-to-wee-is-this-normal-224160">original article</a>.

Body

All the reasons you might be having night sweats – and when to see a doctor

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/siobhan-banks-18473">Siobhan Banks</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-south-australia-1180">University of South Australia</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/linda-grosser-1461631">Linda Grosser</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-south-australia-1180">University of South Australia</a> You’ve finished a workout, so you’re hot and drenched with perspiration – but soon you begin to feel cool again. Later, it’s a sweltering summer evening and you’re finding it hard to sleep, so you kick off the covers. Sweating is a normal part of the body’s cooling system, helping to release heat and maintain optimal body temperature. But regularly waking up during the night, soaked through from excessive sweating is not. Night sweats are <a href="https://www.mayoclinic.org/symptoms/night-sweats/basics/definition/sym-20050768">repeated episodes</a> of excessive or intense sweating at night. They are an unpleasant part of life for many people. Many conditions and factors can trigger night sweats by changing the body’s tightly regulated temperature set point, at which the body attempts to maintain its <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.4161/temp.29702">core temperature</a>. Some triggers are harmless (a hot bedroom) or even related to positive lifestyle changes (exercise). Others have an underlying cause like menopause, infection, disease or medication. <h2>Temperature control and sweating</h2> The hypothalamus, located in the brain, is part of the <a href="https://www.hormones-australia.org.au/the-endocrine-system/">endocrine system</a> and the temperature control centre for the body. It contains <a href="https://www.statpearls.com/point-of-care/29920#ref_19631766">temperature sensors</a> that receive information from nerve cells (thermoreceptors) located centrally (in the organs) and peripherally in the skin. Thermoreceptors detect changes in body temperature, sending signals back to the hypothalamus. These <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1876034111000256">signals</a> will either activate sweating to cool the body or shivering to warm the body. <h2>Hormones and night sweats</h2> Anyone, regardless of age or gender, can experience night sweats. But women experience night sweats more often than men, largely because menopause and associated changing hormone levels are <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.3109/13697137.2011.608596">a leading cause</a>. Approximately 80% of women experience <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00737-007-0209-5">hot flashes</a> (also called hot flushes) or night sweats after <a href="https://www.menopause.org.au/hp/information-sheets/what-is-menopause">menopause</a> (when periods have ceased for 12 months) and during <a href="https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/perimenopause">perimenopause</a> (the time leading up to it). While both hot flashes and night sweats produce a feeling of overheating, they are different experiences associated with menopause. Hot flashes occur during the day, are transient episodes of flushing and may involve sweating. Night sweats occur at night and involve an intense period of <a href="https://www.proquest.com/docview/2821423865?accountid=14649">sweating</a>. Changing oestrogen levels are thought to impact norepinephrine and serotonin levels, two neurotransmitters that influence <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6459071/#:%7E:text=%5B21%5D%20Estrogens%20stimulate%20the%20production,norepinephrine%20which%20disturbs%20hypothalamic%20thermostat">temperature regulation</a> in the hypothalamus. Hormones also influence night sweats in men, particularly those with low <a href="https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/testosterone">testosterone</a> levels, known as <a href="https://www.hormones-australia.org.au/endocrine-diseases/hypogonadism/">hypogonadism</a>. Around 38% of men aged 45 years or older have low testosterone <a href="https://www.scielo.br/j/ibju/a/RZqqfTn5tY6BFpV6rp3GMxJ/">levels</a> but it can affect men at any age. <h2>Infections, disease and medications</h2> When fighting infection, our body temperature often <a href="https://europepmc.org/article/nbk/nbk562334">rises</a>. This can stimulate sweating to cool and decrease body <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1876034111000256">temperature</a>. Minor infections like the common cold can cause night sweats. They are also a symptom of serious infections such as human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) and diseases such as <a href="https://www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/2020/0101/p34.html">Hodgkin’s</a> and <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.2165/00002018-200831020-00002">non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma</a>. However, night sweats are rarely the only symptom present. Medications such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), corticosteroids, thyroid hormone replacement and methadone can cause night sweats. These medications affect parts of the <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.2165/00002018-200831020-00002">brain</a> and neurotransmitters that control and stimulate sweating. Regular alcohol (particularly alcohol dependence) and recreational drug use can also <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.2165/00002018-200831020-00002">increase the risk</a> of night sweats. <h2>Stress, snoring and strenuous exercise</h2> Night sweats are commonly reported by people with <a href="https://karger.com/spp/article-abstract/26/2/92/295722/Psychological-Sweating-A-Systematic-Review-Focused?redirectedFrom=fulltext">anxiety</a>. Psychological stress activates the body’s fight or flight system releasing neurotransmitters that increase heart rate, respiration, and blood pressure. This causes the body to heat up, at which point it starts sweating to cool the body back down. Night sweats may also increase anxiety, causing more sweating which in turn leads to less sleep and more anxiety. If anxiety causes night sweats and this causes distress, it’s best to get up, move around and engage in a <a href="https://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/symptoms/night-sweats">calming routine</a>, preferably in a dark or dimly lit room. Night sweats have similarly been connected with sleep disorders like <a href="https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/obstructive-sleep-apnoea">obstructive sleep apnoea</a>, where the airway is repeatedly blocked during sleep and there is loud snoring. About one third of people with obstructive sleep apnoea regularly <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11325-011-0502-4">experience night sweats</a>. The exact cause is undetermined but research shows it is linked with low blood oxygen levels (<a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11325-022-02701-3">hypoxemia</a>) and/or <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1365-2869.2009.00743.x">high blood pressure</a>. People can experience night sweats after high-intensity workouts. Vigorous exercise can stimulate the thyroid, <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK500006/#:%7E:text=Thyroid%20hormone%20increases%20the%20basal,respiration%20rate%2C%20and%20body%20temperature">increasing basal metabolic rate</a> and body temperature for up to <a href="https://journals.lww.com/acsm-msse/Fulltext/2011/09000/A_45_Minute_Vigorous_Exercise_Bout_Increases.6.aspx">14 hours post exercise</a>. So night sweats can occur even after a vigorous morning workout. Night sweats can indicate overtraining and/or under-fuelling. If not enough calories are consumed to support the increase in training, blood sugar could drop and you could experience <a href="https://www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/2003/0301/p1019.pdf">hypoglycaemia</a>, which can cause night sweats. <h2>When to seek help and 5 things to try</h2> There are <a href="https://www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/2020/1001/p427.html">numerous</a> health conditions and medications that can cause night sweats and interfere with sleep. If night sweats are regular, distressing, interfere with sleep or are accompanied by symptoms such as fatigue or weight loss (not related to lifestyle or diet changes) talk to a doctor to help determine the cause. They might suggest alternative medications to any you’re taking or recommend tests or investigations. In the meantime, you can try the following ideas: 1. sleep in a cool room and use a fan if needed 2. don’t overdress for bed. Wear breathable cotton or linen pyjamas 3. choose lightweight bedding you can kick off. Avoid synthetic fibres and flannel bedding 4. consider a cooling mattress or pillow and avoid those (such as foam ones) that can limit airflow 5. avoid spicy foods, caffeine or alcohol before bed.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/211436/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/siobhan-banks-18473">Siobhan Banks</a>, Research professor, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-south-australia-1180">University of South Australia</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/linda-grosser-1461631">Linda Grosser</a>, , <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-south-australia-1180">University of South Australia</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/all-the-reasons-you-might-be-having-night-sweats-and-when-to-see-a-doctor-211436">original article</a>.

Body

Major twist in store for final season of The Crown

The release date for the sixth and final season of The Crown has finally been announced, with royal fans everywhere marking their calendars for the last instalment of the royal drama. The hit Netflix series will be returning to screens on November 16th, but the final season of the show is set to come in two phases. On November 16th, four episodes of the show will be available to stream, and will follow Princess Diana, played by Australian actress Elizabeth Debicki, in the last year of her life. Her final days will be explored, including her death in Paris in 1997. Then, the final part of the series will be available to stream from December 14th, and will pick up from the mid-2000s, as her children Prince William and Prince Harry deal with the aftermath of their mother's passing. "Prince William tries to integrate back into life at Eton in the wake of his mother's death as the monarchy has to ride the wave of public opinion," a synopsis for part two says. "As she reaches her Golden Jubilee, the Queen reflects on the future of the monarchy with the marriage of Charles and Camilla and the beginnings of a new royal fairy tale in William and Kate." Royal fans were delighted to wake up to a new teaser trailer for the sixth and final season of The Crown that was posted on social media overnight, with the post already racking up over 90,000 likes. <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CyLmKalP7dF/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CyLmKalP7dF/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Netflix UK & Ireland (@netflixuk)</a> </div> </blockquote> The 46-second teaser was released showing Imelda Staunton as Queen Elizabeth II walking through Buckingham Palace before appearing on the famous balcony. All three actresses to play the late Queen appear in the trailer, including Claire Foy and Olivia Colman. "The crown is a symbol of permeance. It's something you are, not what you do," the voice of Foy says. "Some portion of our natural selves is always lost. We have all made sacrifices. It is not a choice. It is a duty," Colman can be heard saying. Finally, it ends on Staunton who says, "But what about the life, I put aside? The woman I put aside?" Image credits: Netflix - Instagram

How to stay awake after a terrible night’s sleep

How to stay awake There are ideals and then there’s real life. In truth, you will at times find yourself tired but still obligated to stay alert. Here’s how to stay awake and make those moments as painless as possible. Play music This brain hack works best if you opt for something cheery, with a beat that’s strong and fast but not exhausting (100 to 130 beats per minute). Music with heart-rate lowering tempos – think 60 beats per minute or less – can actually induce sleep, so consider yourself warned. Go outside or place yourself near a bright light Your body takes its sleep-wake cues from light, so draw back the curtains and let in the sunshine. If it’s not a sunny day, fool your system into thinking it is by cranking the dimmer switch up to maximum, and ensuring your workspace is properly illuminated with task lighting. Drink water Dehydration increases sleepiness. According to Harvard Health, keeping yourself hydrated can help to curb fatigue. It doesn’t necessarily have to be water, either – there are plenty of hydrating drinks that can count towards your daily fluid intake, even caffeinated beverages! Exercise Aerobic activity pumps oxygen through your system and releases hormones that give you energy. There are plenty of other health benefits from increasing your physical activity level, of course. Stimulate your mind Boredom itself promotes fatigue. Break the cycle by starting a conversation, engaging in a new activity, or reading an article about a topic that interests you. Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/healthsmart/how-to-stay-awake-after-a-terrible-nights-sleep" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>.

Body

What to eat before bed if you want a good night’s sleep

What to eat before bed It’s after 8 pm and you can feel your stomach grumbling. Should you stick it out until morning or head to the kitchen? Night-time eating tends to get a bad reputation – people often worry it causes weight gain, heartburn, indigestion or all three. But it all depends on what you reach for, says nutritionist Nishta Saxena. Saxena says there isn’t a clear-cut time of day that we have to stop eating. Studies have found that it’s not when you’re eating, but how much and what you’re eating which matters. Super salty snacks at the end of the day can, for example, make you dehydrated and interrupt your sleep – and they’re not the only culprits that can affect whether you have a good night’s rest. In general, it’s best to eat small portions before bed. Also try to stay away from foods high in protein or fat, which can be harder for our bodies to digest and can interrupt the natural cadence of our systems, which slow down for the night by producing sleep-inducing hormones like melatonin. Excessive sugar can also act like a stimulant – a bad choice if you’re trying to catch some Zzzs. Saxena suggests eating something that’s high in carbohydrates, which can promote sleep and help you to relax. This is because carbs don’t require as much blood flow or work from your body to digest and are therefore unlikely to interrupt your sleep. If you find yourself with an after-dinner case of the munchies, follow these tips on what to eat before bed. Kiwis Kiwis can help to promote sleep because they are rich in serotonin and antioxidants (such as Vitamins C and E). Serotonin helps to make you feel relaxed and certain antioxidants have sleep-promoting qualities. Plus, these fuzzy fruits are extremely high in vitamin C and our bodies can digest them quickly, says Saxena. They also support heart and digestive health as well as natural immunity. Tart cherries Tart cherries and tart cherry juice contain concentrated amounts of melatonin, a hormone that helps your body regulate sleep-wake cycles, says Saxena. Studies show that they can help to reduce insomnia, plus they also contain other sleep-inducing agents like tryptophan (a precursor of serotonin). Since tart cherries can be a little bit harder to find than other fruits, Saxena suggests keeping some in your freezer and using them to make a smoothie. Nuts Nuts are great for a variety of health benefits, says Saxena, and they’re also a good late-night snack. Just don’t dish out a whole cup of nuts, she warns, because they do contain surprising amounts of protein and fat. In particular, she recommends walnuts and almonds – they contain natural melatonin as well as magnesium, which has the potential to reduce insomnia in adults. Popcorn While pre-packaged microwave popcorn most likely contains too much salt to be a good bedtime snack, popping your own can satisfy people who are craving snack foods like chips. Popcorn is also relatively filling – just don’t drown your bowl in butter and salt. Yoghurt Dairy products, while not consumed by everyone, have a lot of components that stimulate sleep, says Saxena. Something like yoghurt doesn’t require a lot of digestive processes, and even full fat yoghurt doesn’t have a ton of fat in it, making it easy to digest. Plus, it’s filled with amino acids, like tryptophan, which promote sleep. Green bananas Saxena says a greenish banana, “almost the colour of a tulip stem,” is a great evening snack. At this point, the banana is full of starch, which means it hasn’t yet become sugar, and this can be great for our gut bacteria and also helps to promote sleep. She adds that the banana should be firm and have a tiny bit of yellow in the midsection. If it has black spots, it’s too ripe to help with sleep and won’t provide a benefit. Warm milk The benefits of warm milk for sleep are well-documented, says Saxena. This is in part because milk contains tryptophan, an amino acid that promotes sleep. Warm fluids in general can relax our digestive muscles. “It can be a self-care moment when you’re having something warm,” Saxena says. “Your hands are wrapped around the mug and it’s a sensory experience.” Cottage cheese While cottage cheese has lots of protein, it also has the benefits of dairy, including amino acids, that help to promote sleep. It’s also nutrient-dense, containing calcium, magnesium, iron, and phosphorus, which are essential for bodily function. It can also be a good late-night snack for athletes, because it’s high in the protein casein, which helps to reduce muscle breakdown overnight. Still, stay away from other cheeses before bed – most are very high in fat and easy to overeat, warns Saxena. Oatmeal While people often think of oatmeal as a breakfast food, oats are high in melatonin and so can make a good bedtime snack. Like dairy products, oats also contain the amino acid tryptophan. You can also spice up your oatmeal with many of the other foods that are okay to eat before bed – tart cherries, yogurt, or almond butter, for example. Pasta If you’re really hungry, try some pasta – but keep the portion small and be careful to not load your dish with toppings that are high in protein or fat. For example, you don’t want to have a super-cheesy meatball pasta before bed, says Saxena. But a small serving of plain pasta with pesto sauce might do the trick. Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/healthsmart/conditions/sleep/what-to-eat-before-bed-if-you-want-a-good-nights-sleep?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>.

Food & Wine

"A night in hospital and a trip to the burns unit later”: Concerned mum's warning against popular fruit

Warning: This article contains images that some readers may find distressing. An Aussie mum has taken to the internet and shared photos of her son’s severe burns that came as a result of him playing with a popular fruit. “A night in hospital and a trip to the burns unit later.” She began in her Facebook post. Her son Otis was playing happily outside with a lime in the sunshine, but the next day horror ensued. “It wasn’t until the next day that we noticed a rash appeared.” The mother said. The parents had assumed the rash must’ve been an allergic reaction to the lime juice, however, the rash quickly developed into a “horrific burn,” she added. The parents took Otis to the hospital where they were informed their son was suffering from a condition called phytophotodermatitis. <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Cku5QH2thxE/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Cku5QH2thxE/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Tiny Hearts (@tinyheartseducation)</a> </div> </blockquote> Phytophotodermatitis, more commonly known as margarita burn, is a little-known condition which causes burns to the skin when a chemical called furocoumarin reacts to sunlight. The chemical is found in limes, citrus fruit and some plants. “The small lime he had been innocently playing with - had now burnt his skin horrifically!“ The mum said. “If our story can help raise awareness into phytophotodermatitis at least something good has come out of our horrific experience!” The woman has urged parents to be on the lookout for this little-known skin condition. To minimise the risks of phytophotodermatitis, <a href="https://www.healthline.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Healthline</a> suggests washing hands and other exposed parts of the skin immediately after being outdoors, wearing gloves when gardening, putting on sunscreen before going outdoors and wearing long-sleeved tops and pants in wooded areas. Photo credit: Getty

Body

Thief asks woman out on date after robbing her at gunpoint

A US woman has gone through the harrowing experience of being robbed at gunpoint, but it was what happened after the fact that was almost as eerie. Amber Beraun was checking the mail one night at her Indianapolis home in May when she was approached by a man with a gun. The gunman was later identified as Damien Boyce. Speaking to WRTV, Beraun said she was confronted by Boyce, who attempted to enter her home. She refused and gave him all the cash she had handy, which came to $100. Before he made his escape, Boyce asked Beraun a very unexpected, and quite frankly bizarre question - to add him on Facebook. The thief also noted he was planning to pay her back. Beraun responded, telling him she “believed” him and that “times just get rough”. Boyce proceeded to ask the woman to “come chill”. He was later arrested by the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department and charged over a separate armed robbery on June 12, where two people got shot and one was hit in the head with a brick. He was also charged with his robbery of Beraun. Beraun said her local neighbourhood has been affected by the terrifying incident. "It makes me a little on edge knowing that people walk up and down the street, looking for places to commit crimes," she said. "It makes it a little different when you hear noises at night." Beraun insisted she "never" thought something like this would happen to her. "He took away my sense of safety from my home." Image credit: ABC America

Legal

Hot flushes, night sweats, brain fog? Here’s what we know about phytoestrogens for menopausal symptoms

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/caroline-gurvich-473295">Caroline Gurvich</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/monash-university-1065">Monash University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jane-varney-963066">Jane Varney</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/monash-university-1065">Monash University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jayashri-kulkarni-185">Jayashri Kulkarni</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/monash-university-1065">Monash University</a> While some women glide through menopause, <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26271251/">more than 85%</a> experience one or more unpleasant symptoms, which can impact their physical and mental health, daily activities and quality of life. Hot flushes and night sweats are the most common of these, affecting <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29393299/">75% of women</a> and the symptom for which most women seek treatment. Others include changes in weight and body composition, skin changes, poor sleep, headaches, joint pain, vaginal dryness, depression and brain fog. While menopause hormone therapy is the most effective treatment for menopausal symptoms, it is sometimes not recommended (such as following breast cancer, as there is conflicting evidence about the safety of menopause hormone therapy following breast cancer) or avoided by people, who may seek non-hormonal therapies to manage symptoms. In Australia it is estimated <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26224187/">more than one-third</a> of women seek complementary or alternative medicines to manage menopausal symptoms. But do they work? Or are they a waste of time and considerable amounts of money? <h2>What’s on the market?</h2> The <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30868921/">complementary or alternative interventions</a> for menopausal symptoms are almost as varied as the symptoms themselves. They include everything from mind-body practices (hypnosis, cognitive behavioural therapy and meditation) to alternative medicine approaches (traditional Chinese medicine and acupuncture) and natural products (herbal and dietary supplements). There is some evidence to support the use of <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23435026/">hypnosis</a> and <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22336748/">cognitive behaviour therapy</a> for the treatment of hot flushes. Indeed these therapies are recommended in <a href="https://www1.racgp.org.au/getattachment/bfaa5918-ddc4-4bcb-93cc-d3d956c1bbfd/Making-choices-at-menopause.aspx">clinical treatment guidelines</a>. But there is less certainty around the benefit of other commonly used complementary and alternative medicines, particularly nutritional supplements. The most popular <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26224187/">nutritional supplements</a> for hot flushes are phytoestrogens (or plant estrogens). This trend has been driven in part by <a href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-11915645/HRT-not-supplement-created-experts-women-RAVING-effects.html">supplement companies</a> that promote such agents as a safer or more natural alternative to hormone therapy. <h2>What are phytoestrogens?</h2> Phytoestrogens are plant-derived substances that can show oestrogen-like activity when ingested. There are numerous types including isoflavones, coumestans and lignans. These can be consumed in the form of food (from whole soybeans, soy-based foods such as tofu and soy milk, legumes, wholegrains, flaxseeds, fruits and vegetables) and in commercially produced supplements. In the latter category, extracts from soy and red clover yield isoflavones and flaxseed gives us lignans. Because declining oestrogen levels drive menopausal symptoms, the theory is that consuming a “natural”, plant-based substance that acts like oestrogen will provide relief. <figure class="align-center zoomable"><a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/528788/original/file-20230529-17-mh3zlk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/528788/original/file-20230529-17-mh3zlk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/528788/original/file-20230529-17-mh3zlk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/528788/original/file-20230529-17-mh3zlk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/528788/original/file-20230529-17-mh3zlk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/528788/original/file-20230529-17-mh3zlk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/528788/original/file-20230529-17-mh3zlk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/528788/original/file-20230529-17-mh3zlk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" alt="Soy-rich foods on a table: edamame, soy milk, soy sauce" /></a><figcaption>Phytoestrogens can be consumed in foods like tofu or soy milk. <a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/soy-bean-tofu-other-products-187030769">Shutterstock</a></figcaption></figure> <h2>What does the evidence say?</h2> In the case of isoflavones, initial support came from <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23562010/">epidemiological data</a> showing <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15919681/">women in Asian countries</a>, consuming a traditional, phytoestrogen-rich diet (that is, one including tofu, miso and fermented or boiled soybeans), experienced fewer menopausal symptoms than women in Western countries. However, several factors may influence the effect of dietary phytoestrogens on menopausal symptoms. This includes gut microbiota, with research showing only around <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15919681/">30% of women</a> from Western populations possess the gut microbiota needed to convert isoflavones to their active form, known as equol, compared to an estimated 50–60% of menopausal women from Japanese populations. Circulating oestrogen levels (which drop considerably during menopause) and the <a href="https://academic.oup.com/humupd/article/11/5/495/605995">duration of soy intake</a> (longer-term intake being more favourable) may also influence the effect of dietary phytoestrogens on menopausal symptoms. Overall, evidence regarding the benefit of phytoestrogens for hot flushes is fairly mixed. A <a href="https://www.cochranelibrary.com/cdsr/doi/10.1002/14651858.CD001395.pub4/full">Cochrane review</a> synthesised study results and failed to find conclusive evidence phytoestrogens, in food or supplement form, reduced the frequency or severity of hot flushes or night sweats in perimenopausal or postmenopausal women. The review did note genistein extracts (an isoflavone found in soy and fava beans) may reduce the number of hot flushes experienced by symptomatic, postmenopausal women, though to a lesser extent than hormone therapy. Another <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36253903/">recent study</a> showed marked reductions in hot flushes in women following a low fat, vegan diet supplemented with daily soybeans. However, it was questioned whether concurrent weight loss contributed to this benefit. In Australia, <a href="https://ranzcog.edu.au/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Managing-menopausal-symptoms.pdf">clinical guidelines</a> do not endorse the routine use of phytoestrogens. <a href="https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng23/chapter/Recommendations#managing-short-term-menopausal-symptoms">Guidelines for the United Kingdom</a> note some support for the benefit of isoflavones, but highlight multiple preparations are available, their safety is uncertain and interactions with other medicines have been reported. <h2>Can phytoestrogens help the psychological symptoms of menopause?</h2> Less research has explored whether phytoestrogens improve psychological symptoms of menopause, such as depression, anxiety and <a href="https://theconversation.com/brain-fog-during-menopause-is-real-it-can-disrupt-womens-work-and-spark-dementia-fears-173150">brain fog</a>. A recent systematic review and <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33987926/">meta-analysis</a> found phytoestrogens reduce depression in post- but not perimenopausal women. Whereas a more <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9022873/">recent clinical trial</a> failed to find an improvement. Some research suggests phytoestrogens may reduce the <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0960076015301254?via=ihub">risk of dementia</a>, but there are no conclusive findings regarding their effect on menopausal brain fog. <h2>The bottom line</h2> At present there is uncertainty about the benefit of phytoestrogens for menopause symptoms. If you do wish to see if they might work for you, start by including more phytoestrogen-rich foods in your diet. Examples include tempeh, soybeans, tofu, miso, soy milk (from whole soybeans), oats, barley, quinoa, flaxseeds, sesame seeds, sunflower seeds, almonds, chickpeas, lentils, red kidney beans and alfalfa. Try including one to two serves per day for around three months and monitor symptoms. These are nutritious and good for overall health, irrespective of the effects on menopausal symptoms. Before you trial any supplements, discuss them first with your doctor (especially if you have a history of breast cancer), monitor your symptoms for around three months, and if there’s no improvement, stop taking them.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/204801/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/caroline-gurvich-473295">Caroline Gurvich</a>, Associate Professor and Clinical Neuropsychologist, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/monash-university-1065">Monash University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jane-varney-963066">Jane Varney</a>, Senior Research Dietitian in the Department of Gastroenterology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/monash-university-1065">Monash University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jayashri-kulkarni-185">Jayashri Kulkarni</a>, Professor of Psychiatry, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/monash-university-1065">Monash University</a> This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/hot-flushes-night-sweats-brain-fog-heres-what-we-know-about-phytoestrogens-for-menopausal-symptoms-204801">original article</a>. Images: Getty

Body

Rolf Harris' cause – and date – of death confirmed

Rolf Harris’ cause of death has been revealed following the announcement of his passing after a battle with neck cancer. While the information was made public on May 23, his death certificate states he died several weeks ago. On May 11, it was speculated that Harris was gravely ill after an ambulance was spotted outside his UK home. However, it wasn’t until May 23 that his death was confirmed. The date of his death on the certificate was listed as May 10, one day before the ambulance was seen. The cause of death was listed as squamous cell carcinoma of neck – neck cancer – and “fragility of old age”. It was first revealed in late 2022 that Harris had been severely ill and struggled to communicate with people. The gap between the date of his passing and his death certificate allowed the family to hold a funeral for Harris and cremate him away from the public eye. In a short statement released by his family, they said Harris “died peacefully surrounded by family and friends and has now been laid to rest”. Harris lived with his wife of 65 years, Alwen Hughes, 91, who has Alzheimer’s disease. Both needed round the clock care. Private investigator and author William Merrit told the Daily Mail Harris was gravely ill when he saw him in 2022. “Rolf has been very sick. When I saw him he was able to speak to me. He was with it, but he was obviously unwell,” he said. A neighbour also shared Harris’ health had declined after the death of his poodle, Bumble in 2022. “Only carers and nurses, who care for him 24 hours, come and go. I’m told he can’t eat anymore,” they said. Harris was born in 1930 in Bassendean, in Perth’s north east. He was a champion swimmer in his youth before moving to London in the early 50s’, where he studied art. After getting early gigs working as a performer and illustrator for the BBC and ITV, he rose to fame for his art and music. In 2005, Queen Elizabeth sat for a portrait with him. Harris received several awards and honours, most of which were taken away. He had been appointed a Member of the Order of the British Empire in 1968 and was appointed to the Order of Australia (AM), where he later advanced to Officer (AO) in 2012. He was thrust into the spotlight in 2013 after being arrested as part of a UK police investigation into a string of sexual offences. He was also accused of taking indecent images of children. He stood trial in June 2014 and was convicted of 12 counts of indecent assault against four teenage girls between 1968 and 1986, one of which was later appealed. He was sentenced to jail for five years and nine months. Harris was released from Stafford Prison in England’s midlands in mid-2017 after three years behind bars and was rarely spotted in public afterwards. He stood trial again in mid-2017 for separate cases of sexual assault, involving seven complainants aged between 12 and 27 at the time of the alleged incidents. He was found not guilty on three counts and was cleared after the jury failed to reach a verdict on four other counts. Image credit: Getty

News

Why it's never too late to start dating

Thinking about getting back into the dating game? It’s a new world out there and going on a date has changed. Here’s what you need to know. Whether you’re looking for love and companionship in your 20s and 30s or your 60s and 70s, dating is a universal experience that remains timeless. You’re never too old to meet someone new, rendezvous for a dinner and a movie, and possibly have something develop into a relationship. It’s just the act of “going on a date” that can change over the decades. If you’re looking to get back into the dating game but aren’t sure what to expect, don’t worry because you’re not alone. Many singles in their 50s and 60s would like to find a companion to share their life with but aren’t sure how to go about dipping their toe back into the dating pool. <a href="http://www.valeriegibson.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Valerie Gibson</a>, US-based dating and relationship expert and author of The Later Dater, says dating again doesn’t have to be scary, it’s what you make of it. “Most people just want to have someone in their life who loves them, cares about them, is supportive, fun to be with, interesting to talk to and shares their goals,” she says. “That’s what dating is all about – the search to hopefully find someone with whom you can joyfully and happily spend your later years. You may not find them right away, but the journey through dating while you’re searching can be fun and exciting, and make ageing a fascinating adventure.” With that in mind, here are some tips from Valerie Gibson to get you comfortable with the idea of dating at any age. Dating later While dating is a universal and timeless experience for everyone, it can be different depending on your age. In your 20s and 30s, dating is young, passionate, romantic, and carries the prospect of a long-term relationship leading to marriage. “The pleasure of dating in your later years is that dating is a little more low-key and less energetic, but can be much more meaningful and have a lot of depth and satisfaction, and often a lot of commitment. “Both parties have had relationships/marriages and are well aware of what they want now in a personal connection. Although dating at these lovely ages may not have the same wildfire of that in your 20s and 30s (which can burn out quickly at times), meeting someone new and dating them can be just as exciting at a later age as it was when you were much younger.” However, she adds that a lot depends on your positive attitude, youthful spirit and health as to whether later dating works for you. First date jitters affect everyone One thing that affects singles, no matter their age, is a feeling of nervousness when meeting someone for the first time, particularly on a first date! It can be an intimidating experience, particularly if you haven’t done this in a good 20 to 30 years. The best way forward is to leave your expectations at the door and simply enjoy the experience of meeting and learning about a new person when on your date. Relax, enjoy yourself, learn about the other person and ask questions. “Most people are nervous at that first meeting and often trying too hard to impress. It usually eases on the second date and contrary to most opinions “chemistry” is not necessarily there immediately – it can grow.” If you don’t feel like it’s a good match from the get-go, however, when the time comes politely exit. Always treat people how you would like to be treated in similar circumstances. Winning conversation Whether you’re on a first date or not, there are a few topics you should steer clear of when meeting a person for the first time. It’s generally agreed that religion and politics are no-go zones, since these subjects are too inflammatory and divisive, and certain to make sure there isn’t another date. “I always tell people to not pour out all of their previous problems with their dates, marriages or relationships on the first date, especially any horror stories of your last ex. A person wants to know a little about you and who you are but not your complete life history and all of your life’s disappointments. “Keep it light and basically informative, discuss subjects such as music, books, movies, your travels, food and wine, hobbies, and you can also find out whether you have interests in common which is important.” It’s a digital world The dating game has changed quite a bit over the years, mostly with the arrival of the internet. Meeting someone online through a dating website has become one of the most popular ways where people are now searching for Mr or Mrs Right, particularly singles in their 50s and 60s. “There’s no question that online dating has become the most popular way of meeting someone when you’re over 60. The biggest growing demographic for online dating sites are people 50-plus. “It’s because it can be done from the comfort of your home, there’s some controllable privacy and anonymity to it which older people find reassuring and protective, and it’s the only way to meet hundreds, if not thousands, of other singles in your age group who you would never meet in everyday life – all at the click of a key.” Valerie warns that while there are genuine people looking for love online, you may unfortunately come across others who are not so genuine. Be cautious and if in doubt, ask a friend or family member for advice. While online dating is one great way to meet a partner, other options include through mutual friends, volunteering, joining clubs and groups, taking classes and basically, just getting out and mingling with people. “You’ll never meet someone sitting at home.” Be informed about the new world For those looking to start meeting new people and go on dates, the best way to prepare yourself is to learn as much about the new world of dating as you can. Read books, ask friends (even talk to your children if they’re dating!), do some research and get yourself ready both emotionally and physically. “Always remember you have been through a lot in your life and dating isn’t life threatening after all! Make up your mind that you’re going to enjoy it and enjoy the people you meet, whether or not they are Mr or Mrs Right or someone who fits your long list of requirements. “The people you meet are also probably nervous, just like you, and also looking for someone they might like, can get along with, possibly fall in love with and maybe share their life with or maybe just to share some good times!”

Relationships

John Travolta’s iconic suit snatches a sweaty sum at auction

John Travolta’s sweat stains have hit the market, snagging a staggering sum, alongside the iconic Saturday Night Fever white three-piece suit. The look rose to international fame when Travolta - as Tony Manero - took to the dancefloor in the 1977 classic, joining Stephanie Mangano for an intense disco dance competition. But it was the film’s promotional imagery that truly immortalised the suit - despite popular, yet incorrect, belief that Travolta had flaunted it during his solo ‘Night Fever’ dance. In posters - as well as on VCR, DVD, and CD covers - Travolta can be seen with his right arm in the air, on a dancefloor, white polyester front and centre. As Costume designer Patrizia von Brandenstein explained to the New York Post, they were looking for “a white, three-piece suit: dressy, inexpensive and polyester. There was a producer who thought a black suit would be more elegant. But heroes wear white; it’s as simple as that. “The pastel suits were nice and pretty, but John’s character is very much a hero. Plus, it needed to be something that a boy who works in a paint store would be able to afford. I think the suit sold for $150 or $200.” Initially purchased off the rack in Brooklyn for $100, the jacket - with matching waistcoat, flared trousers, black shirt, and Travolta’s 45-year-old sweat stains - was expected to fetch up to $250,000 USD (~$374,000 AUD) when it went under the hammer at Los Angeles’ Julien’s Auctions. Despite its distinct lack of a thorough cleaning, the suit did find a new home, with a buyer dishing out a total of approximately $388,692 AUD to call it their own. As a spokesperson for the auction house explained, “This suit is considered to be one of the most iconic costumes in cinema history. It is one of only two known to exist that was used during production. It has never been exhibited or sold at auction before. “It has become emblematic of not only the film but of the whole disco era.” The suit in question was actually one of a few purchased by the film’s costume designer - two were used on set, rotated in and out while the other dried, and another was used for promotional material - and was given to Julien’s Auctions by an anonymous collector who had received it from Saturday Night Fever’s director, John Badham in 1991. As for why the iconic outfit was being sold in its unique condition, the executive director of Julien’s Auctions had a simple explanation. “The sweat is how you know it’s authentic,” Martin J Nolan told The Guardian. “It was incredibly hot during filming, so you can still see the sweat marks around his waist. We never wash memorabilia. People want the stains, the DNA, particularly when a suit like this one hasn’t been auctioned before.” Images: Getty

Movies

A dating coach’s guide to making a lasting impression with that special someone

Monica Parikh is a lawyer, writer, and dating coach. She started the <a href="http://www.schooloflovenyc.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener">School of Love in New York City</a> to help men and women develop happier and healthier relationships. When my ex-husband disappeared, I unexpectedly got divorced at 36 years old. I went back on the dating market--after a 10-year hiatus. Flirting was the best tool in my arsenal (besides an optimistic attitude). Before long, I was meeting men in all sorts of places—the subway, elevators, the gym, and airports. In my coaching practice, I often see women and men who have forgotten how to flirt. Oh, the pity! Flirting adds spicy intrigue to the mundane. If you’re single, it’s a wonderful way to signal availability and interest. If you’re in a relationship, it helps maintain spark and fuels passion. A little simple flirting says to the world, “I’m alive!” Flirtation is simply the art of conversation amped up a notch. I’ve always been a good flirt, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become a better—mostly because I’ve grown in confidence and self-esteem. A few key tips: 1. Radiate strength Naked selfies aren’t sexy. Neither is telling your life story on a first date. Real sexiness stems from the ability to tickle the imagination and create intrigue. Less exhibitionism, fewer words, and more confidence fuel desire. 2. Smile Smile big and often — it lights up your face and says that you’re approachable and warm. It is the green light that gives others confidence to approach you and start conversation. 3. Be playfully combative When we’re attracted to someone, we often veer toward being overly agreeable and conciliatory. Talk about throwing cold water on a spark! Being challenging, feisty, and a bit unpredictable (while still being nice) is very sexy. My partner and I often playfully spar with words. Intelligent banter makes for a very flirtatious (and fun) relationship. 4. Create an air of mystery When I was single, a stranger on an elevator once offered to walk me to the subway with his umbrella during a rainstorm. When we arrived, he asked for my number. I demurred, saying that I don’t talk to strangers. (Wink.) He offered his card. I took it but made no promises. He was handsome and charismatic, so I knew he was used to having women chase him. I waited several days (to build intrigue) and sent him a one-sentence email. He responded immediately, admitting that he checked his email constantly for word from me. Not knowing where the other person stands fuels desire. So, hold your cards close to your chest. 5. Laugh We’re all a little too serious. Take a ribbing. Give a ribbing. Laugh until your sides ache. Dating and romance are supposed to be fun, after all. 6. Tap into your feminine (or masculine) energy I have a serious job as a lawyer during the day, so I make deliberate efforts to tap into my softer side after work. I often go home, take a bath and change clothes before a date. I love jewel-colored dresses, red lipstick, and French perfume. This little ritual “washes” the 9-to-5 off me and helps me tap into a different energy/vibration. Each person’s formula is unique, but spend time figuring out the clothing, style, and rituals that bring about the most authentic and empowered you. 7. Ask questions Conversation with a stranger can be daunting. My advice? Show interest in your beloved’s work, hobbies, family, and interests. Sit back and relax while they open up. You will glean key insights. And I guarantee they will remember you as an amazing conversationalist while they have performed the bulk of the work. 8. Say a person's name — often My game changed for the better after reading Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. While technically not a dating book, it’s a wonderful guide on how to be a more engaging person. Carnegie says that someone's name is "to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” Pay attention when someone introduces themselves. Repeat their name back immediately. Sprinkle it throughout conversation. Be amazed at the result. 9. Show warmth Gently touching someone’s hand or back is a wonderful way to show interest. Be respectful of another person’s space. It’s not about draping yourself all over them (or being clingy), which is a big turn-off. It’s about small signals of interest, respectfully scattered here and there. 10. Be original Successful flirting is about being 100 percent you. Personally, I’m an extroverted nerd who loves the public library, backpacking through Asia, Wes Anderson films, and 1970's soul music. Don’t be afraid to stand out from the crowd. Accept that what makes you unique also makes you memorable. That is the most powerful vibrational frequency you can live in — and one that will surely attract an ideal partner. Images: Getty

Relationships

Dating 101: what to wear on a date

Dating and meeting new people are by no means all about looks and what you wear. However, not only will investing a little time in what you wear on a date make you look good, it will also make you feel good and put a positive spring in your step. Firstly, when pondering your outfit for a first date it’s worth keeping in mind that it’s always best to be on the smarter, slightly over-dressed side rather than under dressed. Presenting yourself well is worth it. If you turn up looking like you've just rolled out of bed, you're not likely to make a great first impression. And first impressions count. Here are some wardrobe pointers when deciding on what to wear on a first date: Set the scene One of the most important considerations to keep in mind when selecting an outfit for a date is, where are you going, what will you be doing and what are others there likely to be wearing. It is also worthwhile seeing if there’s a dress code for the venue. You can usually find this on the website for the place or by giving them a quick call. A successful date will come from you feeling comfortable, so it’s important you don’t look, or feel, out of place. For example, you don’t want to wear a suit to a casual, laid-back dinner spot. Or, don running shoes to a fancy restaurant or bar. Fitting in with your surroundings will make you feel comfortable and allow you to relax. Don’t make things more nerve-wracking than they already are. Confidence-boosting ensembles You’d be surprised just how powerful clothes can be in making you feel great. So opt for something you feel good in, as your outfit will impact how confident and natural you feel as well as your comfort levels while on a date. And this works both ways – you’ll want to ensure everything you opt for fits you well and isn’t uncomfortable. New shoes will give you blisters, a top a size too small will make you feel squeezed in, a woollen jumper could overheat your body – all of these things will show in your body language and mood. It’s a good idea to select something that you've worn before and you know makes you feel fantastic as well as attractive. Finishing touches The little finishing touches – like an accessory, a splash of perfume and looking fresh – are not be underestimated. If you’ve had a busy day and you’re going straight from one place to a date, take the time to freshen up – use deodorant, have a breath mint, spritz on a scent and tidy up your hair and outfit. Looking fresh and crisp will help impress your date, but furthermore, feeling fresh will energise you. Images: Getty

Beauty & Style

93-year-old grandma shares her blunt dating advice with the world

A 93-year-old woman from the United States has reached viral heights on social media with her frank dating advice for singles around the world - particularly when it comes to which men she thinks it best to avoid. In a series she calls ‘Red Flags for Guys’, Lillian Droniak has educated - and entertained - her audiences, warning them off of everyone from those who won’t open doors to those who won’t provide regular compliments, don’t have soup on hand, and don’t like bingo. In a later entry, she expanded on her own list, declaring that those who lie about their height, those who are water signs, anyone with a name starting with the letter J, plays golf, and don’t like cats are major red flags in the romantic department. “If he doesn't like bingo, I don't date him because I love bingo,” she explained. “If he doesn't keep enough soup for me in the refrigerator. I always like soup and eat soup … if he doesn't call me pretty all the time, I don't want anything to do with him.” <div class="embed" style="font-size: 16px; box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; outline: none !important;"><iframe class="embedly-embed" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border-width: 0px; border-style: initial; vertical-align: baseline; width: 620.262px; max-width: 100%; outline: none !important;" title="tiktok embed" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2Fembed%2Fv2%2F7187092528930327850&display_name=tiktok&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40grandma_droniak%2Fvideo%2F7187092528930327850%3Flang%3Den&image=https%3A%2F%2Fp16-sign.tiktokcdn-us.com%2Fobj%2Ftos-useast5-p-0068-tx%2F0185552c26ef45e9a4155e25fdc88e95_1673375409%3Fx-expires%3D1680606000%26x-signature%3D2Bbvh8va4bNkeTSlql8fJ3xRfnU%253D&key=59e3ae3acaa649a5a98672932445e203&type=text%2Fhtml&schema=tiktok" width="340" height="700" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div> As Lillian told Good Morning America of her decision to launch her account, she gives her advice because she’s already been through it, and that the next generation “are maybe too young to think about it. “I was bashful when I was young. And now I’m too much trouble sometimes.” And while Lillian is happy to dish out her advice, it isn’t without some personal experience. The grandmother has also been open with her followers about her own journey back into the realm of dating, even sharing a clip of her preparing for an upcoming date after 25 years without embarking on one. “My first date in 25 years and he's going to pick me up in 20 minutes,” she said. “I'm getting nervous now. I met him at bingo and that's the way it goes. “He's really handsome and I couldn't say no ... I might kiss him, you never know but I'm going to still put lipstick on just in case.” "If he doesn't like it, he could leave,” she explained, after showcasing her outfit for the camera, “all I want is a free dinner. “I'm not even going to bring my wallet or my purse. I'll let you know how it goes.” <div class="embed" style="font-size: 16px; box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; outline: none !important;"><iframe class="embedly-embed" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border-width: 0px; border-style: initial; vertical-align: baseline; width: 620.262px; max-width: 100%; outline: none !important;" title="tiktok embed" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2Fembed%2Fv2%2F7197847511887858986&display_name=tiktok&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40grandma_droniak%2Fvideo%2F7197847511887858986%3Flang%3Den&image=https%3A%2F%2Fp16-sign.tiktokcdn-us.com%2Fobj%2Ftos-useast5-p-0068-tx%2F3958e1d1760c44539a23ef404b267a18_1675879484%3Fx-expires%3D1680606000%26x-signature%3DkHJqxjdpR2WgDEE6KGU%252FWFxlSWw%253D&key=59e3ae3acaa649a5a98672932445e203&type=text%2Fhtml&schema=tiktok" width="340" height="700" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div> Unfortunately, it wasn’t destined to work out for Lillian and her would-be partner, as she later returned to inform everyone that she “just got back from my date and it was no good. “He didn't even look at my outfit and say that it looks pretty. He was rude to the waiter, he was just a rude person. He didn't even hold the door for me like a gentleman should. “Bottom line he wasn't a gentleman, not my type. And he was shorter than me.” Images: TikTok

Relationships

Woman matches with brother on dating app

A woman who took the plunge and dived back into the world of dating apps, despite a series of negative experiences, has been left in shock after an unexpected match. Dani, who was using the dating app Hinge - “the app that’s designed to be deleted” - took to TikTok to share her story, telling followers she re-downloaded the app and told herself "let's get back into this.” "And I could vomit at who my most compatible was," she said before revealing a bizarre match. "So this is my brother," she explained, panning the camera back to show her brother Jordan’s profile on Hinge. "Super cute right? Yeah. It runs in the family.” Dani explained that Hinge matched her with her brother due to their “compatibility”. "I don't know if he is the one for me. I mean I guess we are compatible in the sense we share the same parents and shelter growing up and like blood and DNA and all those fun things. "Hinge was really saying to me, 'Girl, I know more for you. We're done with you. Here's your brother. Why don't you try this one out.” At the end of her video, she recommended her brother as a match to any unrelated singles. "While I go pick up my vomit that's on the floor from this, my brother's single, if any ladies out there are interested, just let me know.” The video amused fellow TikTokers, gaining a lot of traction with over 373,000 views. "Most compatible for a blood transfusion maybe," one wrote. "LMAO even Hinge was like girl there's nothing out there, have you tried your family," said another. Image credit: TikTok

Family & Pets

Sleepless nights can affect your memory

One-third of a life span is a massive slice of time to spend with our eyes closed, but there's a very good reason humans need so much sleep. We just don't know what it is. What does sleep do to our brains? Like a sleep-deprived student trying to muddle through a morning exam, scientists trying to unravel this enduring mystery have been labouring in a heavy fog. But a new study could help answer this fundamental question, suggesting those hours of slumber allow the brain to rewire the crucial connections between the brain's neurons that clog up when we're awake. This nightly reset is vital for building and preserving memory, as well as our ability to learn new skills and engage with our waking realities, according to the German researchers. But just one sleepless night may be all it takes to stop the brain's ability to recalibrate its connections, overloading its synaptic activity and ultimately hampering its ability to form and retain new memories, according to the research paper published on Wednesday in <a href="http://nature.com/articles/doi:10.1038/ncomms12455" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Nature Communications</a>. The researchers set out to test the "synaptic homeostasis hypothesis" that a good night's sleep allows the brain's neuron signals to cut through the chaotic "noise" and improve its capacity to encode, or remember, new information. It is virtually impossible directly test this theory in humans. Using non-invasive transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS), the research team was able to indirectly compare the synaptic activity in the brains of 20 individuals (aged between 19 and 25) after one night's sleep or after one night of sleep deprivation. The research team used small magnetic pulses to zap the motor cortex - the region responsible for movement - to trigger a muscle twitch in participant's left hands. After their sleepless night, participants needed a much lower pulse to activate the hand muscles compared their well-rested counterparts, suggesting their sleep-deprived brains were more excitable, said the researchers lead by psychiatrists Dr Christoph Nissen at Freiburg University, Germany. The researchers then used the magnetic pulses to imitate the brain activity used to encode new memories. The sleep-deprived participants showed a weaker synaptic response and performed worse in a word-pair memory exercise. Their blood samples also showed reduced BDNF, a molecule that regulates synaptic plasticity needed for memory and learning. "Our study provides the first evidence for sleep-wake-dependent dissociation of associative and homeostatic synaptic plasticity in humans," the researchers concluded. The results may pave the way for effective treatments for neuropsychiatric disorders. There is some evidence the experimental treatment - therapeutic sleep deprivation - can improve mood among people with major depression. The findings suggest the therapy shifts the brain of a depressed patient "into a more favourable window of associative plasticity", the authors suggested. Overall, "the findings were a significant step towards a better understanding of basic mechanisms for health performance and potential alterations in neuropsychiatric disorders," they concluded. What’s the minimum amount of sleep you can survive on before your cognitive performance is affected? Let us know in the comments below. Written by Kate Aubusson. First appeared on <a href="http://Stuff.co.nz" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Stuff.co.nz.</a> Images: Getty

Body

Here’s how you can bag a night at Bag End

While many visitors to New Zealand’s Hobbit movie set have gone there and back again, no-one has had the chance to stay overnight - until now that is. In celebration of the 10th anniversary of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Airbnb will be offering a few lucky fans the opportunity to spend the night at the original movie set. Winners will score one of three overnight stays at the set in Waikato, with access to the Hobbit Holes, Millhouse and The Green Dragon Inn, a private tour of the movie set, and an evening banquet in the Green Dragon - think beef and ale stew, fresh bread, chickens and ale. Two decades after the working farm caught the attention of Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson, the farm’s owner Russell Alexander said he was excited to offer guests the experience of living like a Hobbit. “We’ve welcomed millions of passionate fans to the Hobbiton Movie Set, but never before has anyone had the opportunity to spend a night in Middle-earth,”he said. “I am delighted to share the beauty of my family’s farm and pleased to be hosting this iconic location on Airbnb for fans from around the world.” The three two-night stays will come with a four-guest limit and cost $10 a night to mark the 10th anniversary. Each of the stays will take place on March 2-4, 9-11 and 16-18. Unsurprisingly, there are some rules for the lucky guests who stay on-set, with plenty of references to the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings sagas, including “no unexpected parties”, “magical rings permitted, but keep them secret, keep them safe”, “straying far at night is discouraged, thanks to multiple troll sightings of late”, and “pony parking” available only at the Green Dragon Inn. To go in the running, applicants can request to book one of the stays from Wednesday December 14. Applicants must have a history of positive reviews on Airbnb, have an Airbnb profile and be over the age of 18. To enter, head <a href="https://news.airbnb.com/hobbiton/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here</a>. Images: Airbnb

Real Estate

Robert Irwin "dating" Heath Ledger's niece

Robert Irwin is reportedly dating Heath Ledger's niece after the pair were spotted on a romantic outing. The 18-year-old wildlife warrior was seen with Scarlett Buckley, also 18, as the pair were pictured enjoying a sunset stroll in Queensland earlier this month. In photos published by <a href="https://www.newidea.com.au/robert-irwins-girlfriend">New Idea</a><a href="https://www.newidea.com.au/robert-irwins-girlfriend"> magazine</a>, the two are seen smiling at each other after picking up takeaway for a picnic on the beach. At one point, according to the publication, Robert pulled Scarlett in for a hug as the sun went down. While neither have spoken publicly about their blossoming new romance, Robert has been conspicuously following Scarlett's private Instagram account for some time. Scarlett – who has an identical twin sister, Rorie – is the daughter of Heath Ledger’s sister Kate, who runs a design and media productions company. Robert and Scarlett have plenty in common, as they both grew up in the public eye after suffering the devastating loss of a family member. Heath Ledger was at the top of his Hollywood career when he was found dead in January 2008 following an accidental prescription drug overdose. Kate has been vocal about keeping her late brother’s legacy alive, creating the Heath Ledger Scholarship for promising young Australian actors. Speaking to Who magazine in 2018, she said the Dark Knight actor is “hugely important” in the lives of her children. “There’s not a day that goes by that we don’t share stories or talk about him. He is very much alive in our house.” Image credits: Getty Images / Instagram

Relationships

10 reasons we miss old-school dating

There’s no question about it: the dating rulebook has changed dramatically over the last few decades. Sometimes it’s for the better (online dating, for example) but sometimes we can’t help thinking we may have lost some good “old-fashioned” dating habits. These are just 10 reasons we miss old-school dating. 1. Walking to the door These days no one bats an eyelid when someone calls or texts to say “I’m outside”, but remember when the man would get out of the car, knock on the door and walk his date to the car? Picking up your date from their door (and dropping them off!) gives a date a sense of occasion. 2. Bringing flowers A bouquet of flowers or other tokens of affection lets your special someone know how much you care and appreciate them. 3. Dressing up Courting is no longer the formal occasion it once was so there’s no need for tuxes and gowns but when you put time and effort into your appearance, it tells the other person you believe the date is special. 4. Slow dancing We might not be in Jane Austen’s time of formal balls with set dances but there is something truly romantic about being whisked off your feet for a slow dance. Perhaps it’s the feeling of intimacy as you gaze into each other’s eyes? 5. Opening doors Opening doors (especially the car) was once an indicator of a chivalrous man. Of course, women can open their own doors but the little gesture is nice, respectful and caring. 6. “Going steady” Dating these days seems like a lot waste time spent wondering whether the relationship is serious or not. Back then you just asked someone to “go steady” and you both were on the same page. Wouldn’t it be great to go back to the days of clarity? 7. Love letters Receiving a handwritten love note or poem (which you can keep and treasure) is a lost art form. A romantic email, or text, just does not have the same ring to it. 8. No distractions Our smartphones are great devices for making life easier but not so much when we’re on a date. There is nothing worse than sitting idly while somebody is checking their phone. Back when there was no mobiles, you would actually have to concentrate and talk to the person you were with! 9. Asking permission Being polite and asking for permission for anything – when you should call, when you can see them next, if you can kiss them – seems to be lost in the modern dating world. 10. Offering to pay This is a contentious issue but there’s no arguing it’s a nice gesture when gentleman offer to pay on a date. It doesn’t mean the man should always pay or ladies can’t pick up the bill, but on a first date it says you are looking to impress. Image credits: Getty Images

Relationships

Man ditches date without a word

A French actor has confessed to leaving his date without saying a word after she said she doesn’t eat gluten or drink wine. Renan Pacheco went out with a woman named Kimberely in Los Angeles who then proceeded to shock him from the beginning of what should have been a lovely dinner. “I arrive at the restaurant, first of all her name’s Kimberley, it’s not my favourite name but it’s fine, she’s pretty, so we sit down and we take the menu and she looks me in the eyes and she tells me doesn’t eat gluten,” he said in a TikTok video. “You don’t eat gluten? But how can you not eat gluten? “Gluten is my life, Kimberley. Gluten is croissant, gluten is baguette, how can you not eat gluten? “So I’m starting to be confused, I’m not going to lie.” Renan wanted to calm down after what he had heard and proceeded to order a glass of wine before he was shocked again when Kimberely confessed to not drinking. “How can you not drink alcohol in your life, Kimberley?” he questioned. “Alcohol is joy … so I’m sorry, I’m sorry if I left. I left the restaurant without saying goodbye. “I couldn’t stay there. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t have a love relationship with someone who doesn’t eat gluten and doesn’t drink wine. I’m sorry, Kimberley.” Viewers were left questioning the date and said Renan did the right thing of leaving. “I can understand [not eating] gluten but alcohol … no, no, no … red flag,” someone wrote. “I’m probably gluten intolerant just like I’m lactose [intolerant] but I eat it anyway because you’re right … it’s life,” another commented. “And then she says she’s lactose intolerant and don’t eat cheese,” someone else commented. Images: TikTok

Relationships

Over 60

News

Shop

Catalogues

Travel

Health

Lifestyle

Finance

Entertainment

Property

Information

Keep up to date

Search

Why do I need to get up during the night to wee? Is this normal?

All the reasons you might be having night sweats – and when to see a doctor

Major twist in store for final season of The Crown

How to stay awake after a terrible night’s sleep

What to eat before bed if you want a good night’s sleep

"A night in hospital and a trip to the burns unit later”: Concerned mum's warning against popular fruit

Thief asks woman out on date after robbing her at gunpoint

Hot flushes, night sweats, brain fog? Here’s what we know about phytoestrogens for menopausal symptoms